THE streets of Kabwata came to a standstill this morning after a thieving former employee of a named garbage collection company tried to test his Muzala Samukonga skills by slipping through the hands of his captors at Kabwata Police Station before he could even be questioned.
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Uyo! Mungwileni!, two employees of the garbage collecting company who were breathing uncontrollably following their unwanted exercises, shouted as bystanders looked and wondered what was happening.
It was revealed that 28 year old Vicyone Manganta wasn’t just dumping trash but chose to dump his integrity.
It is reported Manganta collected both the old soiled and crispy Kwacha notes by forging receipts and was lying to clients that the company had sent him to collect garbage fees.
According to his former employer, after his dealing were exposed like a fallen witch in broad daylight, Manganta was kicked out of the garbage collection company some time back for not only turning trash into treasure by issuing fake receipts but also stealing from his workmates.
But like that one stubborn bedbug that refuses to die despite fumigation, Manganta advanced his thieving skills by visiting the capital city of forgery where CVs, grade 12 certificates and even ancestral names are forged without shame, ‘Matero’ and printed more receipts that resembled his former employers’.
The 28 year old knowing the company’s weak points like a child knows the best hiding spot during chidunu (hide and seek) with their uncle from Mongu, started calling old clients claiming he was collecting fees on behalf of the company.
He would rock up with counterfeit receipts so fresh they still smelled like toner.
As fate would have it, today, he was caught in the act, and dragged to Kabwata Police this morning for questioning.
But before the process could start, Manganta channeled his inner Usain Bolt skills and slipped out just as the officers were debating whether to charge him with forgery or make him a Matero Receipt Printing Association honorary member.
Manganta have his former workmates an extra shift for their salaries as he sprinted through the streets of Kabwata trying to emulate a certain bleached male Kabwata hairdresser who like the current fugitive showcased his sprinting skills back in 2022.
When they caught up with him, all the memories they shared as colleagues vanished and he was airlifted like an empty container expected to have water.
“Apangisa ma receipt yaboza (he’s been forging receipts) a Kabwata resident shouted as Manganta was being frog marched back into the station after a failed escape attempt.
Within minutes, the fugitive was dragged back to the police station by the belt and deposited right back where he belonged, in the hands of law enforcement officers and the gossiping mouths of Kabwata marketeers.
The captors were also heard shouting, “Ngati sunabe sibataba kaili (if you haven’t stolen, you should not run away).
Charged with forgery and uttering false documents, the garbage man turned conman now faces the very real possibility of not only collecting prison garbage but also a prison sentence as he is detained at Kabwata Police Station.
By Catherine Pule
Kalemba, April 22, 2025
