A happy marriage of 15 years of a couple in Zimba district of the beef-rich Southern province has broken down beyond rapair owing to the adulterous activities of an elder from the Zimba Seventh Day Central Church.
The elder in question was having an affair with a married woman who is also a dorcass mother and was even dragged to the piggery of public justice for straying under the bright blue uniform of a married woman.
In this matter, Elder Kebby Mukonka of Zimba Central SDA is said to have thrown away his Great Controversy, Hymn Book and Quartely Study Guide to concentrate on sneaking under the uniform of one of his church’s Dorcus Worker Bernadette Mutinta.
According to family meeting minutes, Bernadette’s husband Pascal Lelebwe cried before the gathering, saying his marriage could not continue as he could no longer fit into his wife’s tunnel of pleasure because the elder had extended it to the maximum elastic limit which would even shock a seasoned gynecologist and midwife.
He complained to the meeting that the most painful thing about his wife’s affair with the elder was that they were devouring each other inside the restaurant which he had established for her in Zimba.
And if the two religious figures mischief is not enough, Lelebwe also had the shock of hearing a recording of his mother in law inquiring from her daughter whether the Elder took her to Canaan or Gologota during their sexual escapeds, and whether the child she had was for the elder or another one of her lovers.
In answering her nosy mum via phone which was recorded on a memory card seized by Lelebwe, Bernadette confessed to mum and friends that Elder Mukonka was hiding not a mere AK 47 in his well-ironed church trousers but a whole stockpile of a long and fat Russian missile which stretched her lower lips located below her waist leaving her in sweet pain.
“Kuma first venzobaba, but nenze najaila kuma last, it was nice”, Bernadette confessed of the Elders’ mischievous cassava.
Also revealed in the matter was that Lelebwe married Bernadette but for seven years they were not blessed with a child of their union hence her hiring the fertilization services of the able elder Mukonka who had since blessed her with a baby bump for baby number two.
Even when the matter went to the Kalomo Local Court, seeing his tears flood the rural courtroom like the floods in Lusaka’s Kanyama Compound, the court ordered Elder Mukonka to compensate Lelebwe K40,000, to be paid in installments of K1000.
As the former couple was leaving court, murmurs were heard in court with some questioning how the church could appoint a well-endowed drilling machine of a man as a Church elder.
While paying the K40,000 in instamments, the legal battles are not quite done for elder Mukonka as Lelebwe has dragged him before another court, seeking more compensation, not for committing adultery with his wife but for making her pregnant, although sadly, the child died slightly about a year after it was born.
In the meantime, Lelebwe has separated with his wife and are living apart.
By Catherine Pule
Kalemba, November 25, 2025
