A dual Zambian-US citizen who shot to Zambian social media fame for her ability to brazenly issue heavy-weight insults against the Zambian presidency yesterday engaged in a proverbial crawl of shame as begged the Zambian prosecutors to consider a lesser punishment for her on grounds that she has brushed her mouth and will forever not release any foul sounds from her mouth.
The usually boastful and Ethel Chisomo Edwards, also called Ms. Edwards by her chorus of followers, yesterday appeared meek and deflated like a neglected balloon as she begged the court to spare her the fairness of a trial and instead allow her to negotiate with prosecutors for a plea bargain where she will accept a guilt charge in exchange for a lesser sentence.
Riding on her success of clinching a slay queens outmate dream of securing a marriage with a white ancestor, Edwards used various platforms such as ‘Dominc Phiri’, ‘Zambian Top Updates’, and ‘Trending Stories’, among others, to pour floods of insults on the Zambian premier much to the cheers and claps of fellow slay queens also wishing to tap into her blessing of convincing a white grandpa to say ‘I do’.
However, in September, like Rabbit escaping a burning bush, Edwards was forced to leave the comfort of the US and come to Zambia to bury her grandmother.
With two tears in her left eye and none in her right eye, Edwards was nabbed as she disembarked at Kenneth Kaunda International Airport by alert security officers who charged her with a basket full and half of offenses from seditious practices to hate speech.
Noticing that her offences carry a long sentence such that she may potentially find her ancestor-of-a-husband has gone to the land of milk and honey by the time she serves her jail term, Ms. Edwards begged the National Prosecution Authority to recognise her as guilt even before trial and give her a lesser sentence.
Meanwhile, the Court adjourned the matter to 27 November, 2025 to hear her begging.
In the meantime, Ms Edwards will continue murdering swarms of mosquitoes with her bare hands in the comfort of the Zambian jails.
Kalemba November 25, 2027
