A MARRIED man from the sprawling compound of Garden Chilulu has gone to court to have his marriage dissolved from his boozing Gen Z wife who takes Vinchenzo’s ‘cheers to the good times’ saying too seriously, to the extent that she even fails to do wifely duties in the bedroom.
John Mumba, 31, swore upon the school feeding programme that he wanted nothing to do with 24 year old Fridah Mulenga from the Caterpillar harvesting district of Mpika.
John explained that the two got married in 2019 and only stayed in peace for a while until the wife started supporting brewing companies a little too much.
He said the love for alcohol in his wife had grown to a point where she even uses the money he leaves for food to go Kuma reasons.
“Your honour, I don’t want this woman anymore. She doesn’t give me respect and loves drinking alcohol even when it’s not necessary. When I leave money for food, she first does the budget for alcohol. When I give money for hair, she buys alcohol. She does not know how to make a budget, all she thinks about is alcohol, ” he said.
John claimed that Fridah also has Bruce Lee tapompele martial arts skills that she sometimes turns him into a punching bag and hence, he was not ready to continue carrying his cross to the proverbial Golgotha.
“She also comes at work to beat me in the presence of my workmates. I don’t want her, ” he lamented.
He said with his wife’s insulting skills rated notches above aunt Bertha Lungu’s abilities, no family member of his wants to cross paths with her.
The court also heard that Fridah had investigative tactics surpassing the famous Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) as she frequently checked her husband’s movements by following him to his work place to carry out investigations.
But Fridah defended herself that she had never beaten her John Chimfwembe husband and that she had quit the drinks infamously known for disfiguring the faces of its loyal customers.
She poetically told the court how much she loved her husband whom she had claimed had on countless times turned her into a boxing bag.
“I love him so much. I don’t want him to divorce me, please, your honour, don’t dissolve our marriage. I have changed and I stopped drinking alcohol a long time ago, he’s lying that I haven’t stopped, ” she said.
“Please tell him to stop beating me and coming home at 03. He usually throws me and our child outside the window whenever he comes home late. Everyone in our neighborhood knows what he does. I don’t want to divorce him though.”
Looking at how the wife pleaded with him over not dissolving her marriage and how the husband was reluctantly responding “no”when asked if he wanted his wife, Magistrate Lewis Mumba ordered the couple to continue living together, but this time around in harmony.
He however had a word of advice for Fridah.
“This husband does not want you. If this marriage ends, you will never gat married again. These men are not marrying nowadays. Alcohol will not end, so if you love him as you claim then stop drinking alcohol and start giving him respect, ” said Magistrate Mumba.
Meanwhile, as he was leaving court, people around the premises laughed at John saying it was impossible for a man to be beaten by his wife and advised him to look for a Karate school around Lusaka so that if the wife launches another Bruce Lee attack on him, he should atleast respond with a Chuck Norris attack.
By Catherine Pule
Kalemba, April 6, 2026
