A STUBBORN Lusaka husband, who has failed to admit that his bedroom gymnastics can no longer feature at the marriage Olympics expressed his desires to hold on to his wife, fearing that he would no be able enjoy sex with another woman because his baby making pillar only erected for her.
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48-year-old Marvelous Chumbwe of Lusaka-west said despite his wife’s dissatisfaction with his biological banana, he remains steadfast in his belief that his bedroom skills have the potential to transport her to the heights of heavenly bliss.
This is in a case where 32-year-old Memory Gosta is seeking divorce from her husband, Chumbwe, citing his lack of sexual prowess and weak instrument of power as primary reasons for the dissolution of their marriage.
Memory testified in the Matero Local Court that Chumbwe’s low bedroom performance leaves a lot to be desired, as his baby making sprinkler is stubbornly uncooperative.
With tears falling from her eyes, Memory claimed that her husband resorts to inserting his fingers in her sacred pot, in an attempt to stimulate her sexually, rather than relying on his third leg.
“My husband is so weak that he can’t rely on his manhood, he inserts his fingers in me, thinking that would do the job. I am always unhappy and unsatisfied in this marriage,” Memory complained.
“I can’t manage any more.”
It was also revealed that despite her husband’s efforts to bolster his sexual performance by using various forms of enhancers, he still remains weak like a newborn goat.
In a desperate attempt to refute the claims against him and salvage his marriage, Chumbwe fiercely refuted his wife’s accusations of sexual inadequacy by proclaiming that his machine remains faithful to her alone and that he believes she has cast a spell on him.
“I can’t accept this divorce because my manhood only stands for my wife, no other woman. She must have done some witchcraft to it. When she divorces me, I won’t enjoy anyone but she will when she gets married again,” he stated.
Chumbwe also accused his wife of engaging in an extramarital affair with his close friend, claiming that the friend would frequently visit their home under the guise of charging his phone, but in reality, he was allegedly having an intimate relationship with his wife.
And handling the divorce proceedings, Magistrate Harriet Mulenga urged Chumbwe to accept the natural decline in his sexual performance that comes with age and take responsibility for his health instead of resorting to taking bolsters.
“As you grow older, your performance goes down, and expecting a sexually active woman to be satisfied is unrealistic. If you are experiencing issues with your sexual health, go to the hospital instead of relying on potentially harmful sex bolsters,” she said.
Magistrate Mulenga also advised Memory to reconsider her choice of men and instead, look for men who are her own age.
“When you are looking for a husband, seek out men who are your own age and stop chasing after men who are not suited to you. If you marry a man who is past his prime and can’t satisfy you, don’t run away from the relationship,” she said.
The magistrate decided to grant the divorce request, stating that neither party will receive compensation.
The magistrate recommended that both take time to heal and reflect on their mistakes before entering into other relationship.
By Sharon Zulu
Kalemba August 7, 2025
