AT only 26, old Deborah Mwamba had already become a divorcee, and single mother of three, a thing she never planned when she tied the knot with her husband 13 years ago.
Like everyone else, in 2010, 32 year old Mwamba thought she had found her soulmate, fell in love and before any second thought, she was sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
But her heaven on earth was not a forever tale.
Her dear husband allegedly suddenly changed in 2016 after he met his supposed ‘real’ soulmate in Lusaka who he is now bearing children with.
Mwamba shares with Kalemba that during that period, her husband started mistreating torturing her emotionally and mentally.
“The torture was too much to the extent of me becoming depressed almost taking my life. We tried to sit down with both families. Nothing changed, it became worse.”
She said he later decided to take her to court and divorced her in 2018, barely seven years after their marriage.
“But it was not easy. I was denied justice because he is a staff of the judiciary, especially for the kids and sharing of property. He wrote a consent to the court asking if the children could be under his custody and at that time, the youngest was only one year, eight months old.
“He said my parents should take me back to school, and sad enough, I was not employed. I was just a house wife who only knew how to take care of her home,” Mwamba told Kalemba.
“I went through pain because I kept asking myself where exactly did I go wrong? Did I deserve to be treated the way he treated me being the man of my youth? I loved him and I never expected that at all. Away from him, the disgrace from family and friends was also too much,” she added.
Following the ordeal, Mwamba realised that she needed to bag a degree.
She said despite the double loss of both her marriage and children, she did not dispair, but instead, she looked up to God for strength until in 2019 when one of her cousins helped her with a job.
“Nonetheless, I looked up to him who never slumbers, I used to worship God day and night. Whenever I felt bad, unworthy to live, empty and lonely I used pray, read the word of God.”
” After finding a job, my prayer was to go back to school and accomplish my goal of being a nurse and through the job, I managed to enroll.
Mwamba said she understood that the only way for her to fight back for her self and children was attaining an education and becoming financially independent.
To cruise through the long story, last week, Mwamba was among the many students who were clad in green as she graduated from Levy Mwanawasa Medical University with a Bachelors Degree in Nursing, a paper she would have never attained if that divorce never reached her.
And now, her encouragement to other women in challenging marriages, relationships or life situation is to never despair and never look down on their capabilities as a woman.
“Young ladies, never underestimate how little someone disrespects you. If you are reading this article and you are a victim, please leave that man if things don’t work out for you too. Your life is precious most especially your peace of mind and health believe life is meant to be lived, you deserve a better happy life no one should deprive you of that in name of marriage.
“You redefine your purpose and full potential all by yourself. Being unmarried is not a curse not everyone was meant to marry and not all marriage are ordinance to God no wonder things don’t workout no matter how you force them. find your purpose and joy…Your health comes first,” Mwamba encouraged.
Right now, Mwamba’s aim to find a job and win back the custody of her children. “that is the only fight am yet to win,” she said.
By Buumba Mwitumwa
Kalemba June 12, 2024
