I know most of you will be shocked because i never shared this to people because was scared to be stigmatize and criticized but after listening to that woman crying of her son being sodomized it touched and left me weeping and imagining the victim of the trauma he is going through and it has given me the strength to open up. It might encourage someone out there who is going through the same.
So when I was in grade 12 and clocked 18 years I decided to do an HIV test because I thought it was the right time because there were some people who came through to set tents and were testing pupils who where 18 years above.
Â
And of course I gathered courage because I knew I will be negative because I had never slept with anyone.
Â
However, to my shock, the test came out positive. I cried that day and went home and without telling anyone about my status because I told myself it was a mistake, but eventually I opened up to a trusted friend and she encouraged me to go to Kabwata Clinic for more tests to be sure.
Â
I went and did three different tests. Imweh, all the three where positive and I was given medication and because I couldn’t accept that fact I hid the medication in my school back pack so that no one could know, and I gathered courage and told my elder brother. But later on, my sister’s found the medication and my family knew and they me, I might have gotten it from my mum, because she died positive.
Â
Aaaah! I couldn’t believe it because all my brothers where negative and my Dad too so how possible was it? then I was told maybe I used to play with her Sharp tools.. but guys I still wasn’t convinced.
Â
But deep down my heart I knew what happened to me when I was very young, where I was sexually abused and those memories still haunt me till now, so I convinced myself it could be that man who affected me.
Â
It has been so had to accept myself and cried myself to sleep, but fast-forward, I grew up into a lady and who wanted to be in a relationship with someone but once they find out about the status, the interest would go and ‘you are dumped as a result’.
Â
I would get depressed and get sick and find myself in the hospital being treated of heart palpitations and of course I had several surgeries and had my fourth operation of breasts lumps this year June and had sucide thoughts.
Â
So my Elder brother introduced me to Precious Mwewa Kaniki a woman who as been talking about her HIV status publicly with her husband and I was invited to meet other people who are living with HIV and are happy.
Â
With the phenomenal group I learnt
alot and heard experiences that touched me and I started taking my medication, and am proud say am u=u I suppressed the virus.
Â
So listening to that woman who’s child was sodomised cry, has given me confidence to open up and encourage those who are going through the same situation.
Â
And now my project is to reach out to my Deaf men ,women, girls and boys who are living with HIV so that they can tell there stories and suppress the virus like I did on different platforms.
Â
I am happy I have accepted myself and all I need is your support. The change starts with you and no one will live a healthy life for you but it’s your responsibility. Remember being HIV positive doesn’t mean you have AIDS.
Â
Kalemba September 6, 2022
Advert
