A 13 years old-long marriage has reached a dead end after a Lusaka wife decided to jump the union’s ship before it sinks with the both of them inside
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34 year old Theresa Nachilonga, who has been tirelessly supporting the household financially and managing the responsibilities of running it could no longer endure her husband’s supposed oppressive behaviour of contributing nothing, but contributing his advice to dictate her actions and wardrobe choices.
Nachilonga, a causal worker said she endured the demanding role of “head of the house” while her 47-year-old husband, Benwell Sinfukwe failed to pull up his weight.
She asserted that her husband’s behaviour, characterised by laziness and a propensity for dictating her actions, has become the final straw in a marriage already strained by gender role reversals.
This is in a case where Nachilonga took her grievances to the Matero Local Court, seeking
divorce from Sinfukwe.
Nachilonga testified that she had been carrying the weight of the household on her shoulders, fulfilling the responsibilities typically assigned to a husband while Sinfukwe failed to contribute financially or otherwise.
Moreover, Nachilonga stated that her husband had been unreasonably controlling, dictating her actions and even her wardrobe choices.
“My husband is constantly telling me not to wear short skirts, dresses or skin-tight clothing. I don’t understand why he dictates what I wear especially since I use my own money to buy clothes. I am the sole provider in this household, even covering my husband’s personal expenses,” she lamented.
Nachilonga declared that in this time and era, no woman can endure a husband for 13 years without any support or contribution to the household.
“I have been providing for my husband and our two children for 13 years while he has done nothing to contribute to our household. His only contribution has been to feed his insecurities by controlling me. I’m done. I no longer love him and I’m determined to move forward without him,” she boldly stated.
She also revealed that Sinfukwe wanted her to stop working and start selling tomatoes instead and on top of that, he had the audacity to threaten her with the prospect of taking a younger, more beautiful wife if she did not conform to his demands.
But to justify his action, Sinfukwe accused his wife of wearing immodest clothing and returning home intoxicated after her late nights out.
Sinfukwe claimed that his wife has been disrespectful towards him, particularly because she earns more money than he does, as he only makes about K1000 as a security guard, while she brings in significantly more.
“As a church leader, I am concerned about how people may view me and my family. When I try to discuss these issues with my wife, she always points out that I married her knowing how she dresses and acts,” he said.
Sinfukwe disclosed that both have been separated for six months due to a heated argument in which he accidentally called her father a drunkard and this comment incensed Nachilonga that she immediately packed her bags and left her matrimonial home.
Senior magistrate Lewis Mumba wondered why Nachilonga would want Sinfukwe to be a puppet and dance to her tune.
“Marriage is a partnership that should be built on mutual respect and cooperation, not one-sided control. Additionally Sinfukwe, you must recognise that your wife has already moved on so it will be best for you to accept and work on yourself,” he advised.
“The claim for divorce is upheld and granted and in regards to child maintenance, Sinfukwe will be required to contribute K1000 per month to the support of his children. Neither party will receive compensation,” he ruled.
By Sharon Zulu
Kalemba July 1, 2025
