From Puff Adders to Mubobo Laws: A Venomous Past

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By Godfrey Chitalu

In the past, the Pub Wattle regime tried to slither into Mpala (or Parliament) with ten Puff Adders disguised as bills. These venomous proposals were meant to quietly sink their fangs into citizens’ freedoms, but they failed.

When the Up and Down administration took over, they sought to outdo their predecessors. Instead of subtle Puff Adders, they unveiled the Mubobo Laws—a set of venom-laden monstrosities designed to paralyze the kingdom.

The Cyber Crimes Bill, nicknamed Mubobo Laws, was as sinister as it was blatant. Its premise sounded virtuous: “protect the kingdom,” “curb cybercrime,” and “promote online safety.”

But beneath the shiny scales lay deadly teeth. Share a meme mocking a minister? That’s twenty years chewing dry cimbala in Chimbokaila. Delete someone’s private WhatsApp message? A swift five years. Forward whistleblower material? Fifteen years to reconsider your “patriotism.”

But here’s the twist: just like their friends in Pub Wattle, the Up and Down crew failed. Civil Society Organizations (CSOs) and ordinary citizens saw through the venomous plan. They took to the streets, wielding placards, memes, and unstoppable outrage. “No Mubobo, No!” and “Hands Off Our Facebook!” echoed across the land. Even Mpala, once a sleepy den of approval, erupted into fiery debate. MPs who hadn’t spoken in years rediscovered their voices, and the Mubobo Laws were spectacularly defeated.

Today, tales of the Mubobo fiasco are retold as cautionary legends. The CSO-led resistance stands as a powerful reminder of what happens when citizens unite to de-fang even the deadliest snakes.

Contact Information
Email: goddychitty@gmail.com
Phone: +260 977 466 284 | +260 963 013 760
Socials: Twitter & Facebook: @goddychitty

Disclaimer: This is satire. If you’re still hunting Mubobo venom, try Mundawanga — not my inbox.

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