King Add acquired a reputation as a benevolent risk taker who invested all his borrowings in tangible infrastructure. He earned the moniker Add Squared or Adada after adding numerous bituminous roads to his kingdom. Unfortunately, all good things end: he peacefully handed over power not to himself but to the next brave warrior. The heir was an Oxford tech savvy matric who had intangible shares in myriad companies.
During coronation, king methodical, articulate and tenacious or MAT said let there be light and it was so for few days. He decreed solar farms, cheap fuel, loo of low and that the kwacha would appreciate before kwacha or dawn. Praise singers called for three cheers: hech hech hooray and a big shout of New Dawn!
While others were in a celebratory mood, sinister Adada sent bowsers to drain water from Lake Carry Bar. In addition, his remnant civil servants started issuing letters of appointments to thousands of job seekers and manipulating banks to ruin the don. When the kwacha breached the teenage stage, there were shortages of drugs: teens were high on pilfered drugs after ransacking hospitals.
The new king responded by ordering massive road shading saying we have to clean the mess before laying new tarmacs. To reduce disturbances from vehicles when applying red paint to roads at night, a 12-hour power cut was imposed. Doomsters have since coined a new phrase “Poking the firm bar on which promises hung”. Like pikipiki, praise singers being new to governance mispronounce the words as Fimba Upoke Mulenya Mulelapila.
Everyone is now looking forward to 2020 fix because of power cuts meanwhile Ant on You, Corn Areas, Choose Casandra, and Comical Taboo continue blaming Adada, dry coffers and Lake Carry Bar.
The author is a social commentator who writes for pleasure
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