Called to the Bar

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Shi Joe - The Drunkard

By Joseph Chibwe

Bakamba yesterday while seated pa verandah naba madam around lunch hours, who do we see! Kana Miso our neighbor running into our compound yard breathlessly. The moment she landed and reached where we were seated, she started dancing naseka naseka in dombolo style.

I turned to my wife njebele, “Woman when you see Kana Miso shaking her hipless waist like this just know that zangena za Komboni women empowerment!” I thought twice njebele, “If i join kana Miso in the dancing arena, probably she will cut me a share of her employment money.

Bakamba kalekale bwangu I rose up from my seat, sprinted inside the house and grabbed chitenge material, wrapped it around my waist and came out with a smile. I then shouted kuli Kana Miso njebele, “Na Miso baby just sing it for me and leave umodanso to me!”

Bakamba I then dropped umudanso heavy as Kana Miso sung “Naseke-naseke natemwaa.”

Bana Joe ati, “Imwe banthu hold it first, amake Misodzi may I know what this dancing and singing is all about?” Kana Miso ati, “Amake Joe can you imagine my Nephew Boyd has been called to the bar!”

Njebele, “ehhh!!!! Iwe Kana Miso so some buyers have called yowa nephew to the bar and then you come here dancing and singing. Are you the one going to help her drink? Who does that? I was like which bar are you going to drink from, kuti waya nwako tutatu!”

Bana Joe ati, “Bashi Joe I think what Na Miso means is that her nephew is now a barrister or lawyerstar!

I shook my head heavily, njebele, “No no no no it can’t be!!!! That boy is very humble and can never be a gangster!” Kana Miso ati, “Shi Joe my nephew is a full time lawyer now!”

Njebele, “Ohhh so yowa nephew has gratuity aze Lawyer and so the friends called him to the bar to drink buzz and celebrate?” Kana Miso, “No, imwe mwebaume muli chipuba, to be called to the Bar is a term used to describe a person who has been admitted to practice law.

Njebele, “Ohhh so when you become a lawyer it means you have been called to the bar?” Kana Miso ati, “that’s right!!!” Njebele, and from a lawyer when you become a Judge it means you have been called to the night club?” At that juncture Kana Miso and Bana Joe burst into serious laughter.

I turned kuli Kana Miso, njebele, “So iwe ka shorty wanivinisa mahala? Next time you come dancing into my compound I will unleash my Dog Bingo on you!”

To be continued on Tuesday…

Christian author, Joseph Chibwe describes his drama series as fictional; depicting a cantankerous drunkard from Malole Tavern who narrates his own dramatic escapades using a language he barely comprehends.

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