By Joseph Chibwe
SHI JOE mistakenly votes for a wrong candidates and has a nightmare
Bakamba on voting day I woke up early in the morning with umulamba from the previous drinking spree written all over my face. I staggered all the way to the polling station to cast my vote for the first time.
Upon reaching the polling station, police, ECZ officers, election agents and the people unanimously resolved to put me in front. The people scattered together, feared that prolonging my stay would bring trouble.
One woman, an electoral officer made a comment ati, “Koma these elections are important, even Shi Joe is here to exercise his freedom to vote!”
Njebele, “point of correction madam, I’m here not to exercise any freedom of whatever! I’m here to sort out one chap on the ballot!” “What do you mean you are here to sort out one chap on the ballot?” the officer asked.
Njebele, “look, this chap was all over giving empowerment to different groups but us ba Chakolwa anatufaka ku wire! So am here to sort him out!” At exactly 06:00 Hours, I made my way inside and cast my vote.
Now as I was leaving the polling station, I met kana Miso and immediately started boasting njebele, “Na Miso I have put Honorable Bondix ku wiree!” Kana Miso asked ati, “how did you vote?” Njebele, “the moment I was given the ballot paper I looked for the face for Honorable Bondix and his symbol, then cancelled his candidature by crossing chi X in his box!”
At that juncture, Kana Miso shook her tiny head and said, “Shi Joe you have instead voted for Honorable Bondix. If you didn’t want him, you should have ignored his candidature and put chi cross X on the box of your preferred candidates.”
Njebele, “Ahhh let me go back and tell Ba Electoral Transmission of Zambia that I made a mistake and wanted to re vote!” Kana Miso ati, “They won’t allow you and if you insist they will lock you up!”
Bakamba with tears running down my face njebele, “So na Miso what you are telling me is that technically I voted for chi Honorable Bondix?” Kana Miso ati, “Not technically but mistakenly you have voted for him!
Bakamba, I started sweating and when Bana Joe woke me up from slumber, I swore that on Election Day, I won’t make such a silly mistake!
To be continued on Friday…
Christian author, Joseph Chibwe describes his drama series as fictional; depicting a cantankerous drunkard from Malole Tavern who narrates his own dramatic escapades using a language he barely comprehends
