Embattled UPND MPs attempt to karate their way to re-adoption


After enjoying a five-year term of luxury at Parliament, two UPND Members of Parliament on Monday and yesterday resorted to violence in a bid to compel their junior party officials to re-adopt them.

In Bweengwa Constituency of Monze District, the UPND adoption centre was turned into WWE wrestling cage.

In this incident, well-nourished beefy youths believed to be supporters of aspirant Muchende Mubembe stormed the UPND district office where officials thought to be on the payroll of Bwengwa Member of Parliament Michelo Kasauta were presiding over the process.

The mob was singing songs that they would dissect whichever official would vote for the re-adoption of Kasauta.

Meanwhile Kasauta’s mob of hired youths was also on standby to repel any attack.

With the two groups ready to size each other up, the situation soon degenerated into full blown Karate mayhem.

The Muchende and Kasauta’s cadres punched, kicked, spat and puffed on each other in the process painting their red UPND party regalia crimson with blood.

Monze Mission Hospital has now been left with the task of sewing and mending up the tattered victims of the family Royal Rumble.

Not to be outdone by their Southern Province cousins, in the open plains of Sikongo Constituency in Barotseland, supporters of another incumbent UPND member of Mundia Ndalamei boiled like coal-powered steam trains when they heard that Ndalamei’s application for re-adoption had been thrown away into the Zambezi River on the basis that it was submitted to an unrecognized structure.

Since stones are rare in Western Province, Ndalamei’s cadres attempted to disrupt a meeting which was scrutinising parliamentary applicants with all sorts of missiles.

With no stones in sight, the cadres resorted to throwing sand at the gathered adoption committee but this tactic failed to work as the wind blew away the sand and only left the officials with white make-up on their faces and hair.

Spitting out sand from their mouths, the enraged adoption officials emerged from the sandstorm and beat up Ndalamei’s supporters for applying sandy make-up.

The officials went straight for the cadres throat known as ‘kang’oto’ in the local dialect and with a local sjambok called ‘pafa yakubu’ whipped the erring cadre leaving them to run to hide in the nearby rice paddies for safety.

Ndalamei, realising that his troops were now crying for their mothers to rescue them from the officials’ beatings, dashed to Sikongo Police Station and reported his party colleagues for holding an illegal assembly. He managed to convince police to grant him a permit to shift the adoptions to a soccer field where he thought he may have better luck of re-adoption.

However, even the re-convened meeting still rubished Ndalamei saying he was better remaining in the constituency growing Mongu rice and cashew nuts than going to Manda Hill as MP.

In desperation, Ndalamei picked up his well beaten supporters from the rice fields where they were hiding, dusted them off and gave them seats as a new committee and they re-adopted him unanimously.

After they had voted for him, Ndalamei dropped some of his officials at Kalabo District Hospital for treatment.

©Kalemba April 14, 2021


  1. Hey! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4!
    Just wanted to say I love reading through your
    blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb

  2. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in reality was once a amusement account
    it. Look complicated to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we keep up a correspondence?

  3. Hi there to all, for the reason that I am genuinely eager of reading this web site’s post to be updated regularly.
    It contains pleasant information.

  4. Hello my family member! I wish to say that this article is awesome,
    great written and come with almost all significant infos. I’d like to see extra posts like this .

  5. Excellent way of telling, and pleasant paragraph to get data regarding my presentation topic, which i am going to present in university.

  6. Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog centered on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would appreciate your work.

    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send
    me an e mail.

  7. I have learn several just right stuff here.
    Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting.
    I surprise how much attempt you put to create this sort of wonderful informative site.

  8. I like the helpful information you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly.
    I am quite certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the next!

  9. whoah this blog is fantastic i love studying your
    articles. Keep up the good work! You know, lots of people are looking
    round for this information, you could help them greatly.

  10. Link exchange is nothing else except it is only placing the other person’s webpage
    link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do same for you.

  11. We’re a gaggle of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
    Your website offered us with useful info to work on. You’ve done
    an impressive process and our entire group can be grateful to you.

  12. My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type
    on various websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to
    another platform. I have heard good things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

  13. I delight in, lead to I found exactly what I used to be looking for.

    You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.

  14. Wow, fantastic weblog layout! How long have you been running a blog for?
    you made running a blog glance easy. The whole look of your web site
    is fantastic, as neatly as the content!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here