3 wisemen from the East escort their redeemer to heaven


DRESSED in a pure white gown like a Saudi sheikh with only brown leather Masai slippers on his feet, James Sakala a priest of Chadiza assembled his miracle-hungry followers before a two-metre deep and six-metre wide ditch he had dug and in hoarse voice sustained from continuously speaking in tongues commanded his followers;

“All ye of little faith, bury this Sakala you see now and he shall arise from the dead and breath his COVID-19 free lungs full again!’

But this command tested even the most faithful of his followers but the threat of a curse of the Man of God who had previously warned them not to ‘touch my Anointed’ scared them into submission to aid the priest in his quest.

Sakala, a priest of the Zion Church also a part-time witchdoctor wanted to perform the mother of all miracles; resurrecting from dead in the red soil of Chadiza.

Facing stiff competition to keep his miracle-hungry flock from defecting to other Papas, Sakala sought to perform the slam dunk of miracles and help the kwacha stabilize by stopping his followers importing anointing oil from Nigeria but source it from Chadiza.

When queried over his impending miracle, Sakala quoted scripture and saying that on
the eve of his murder by Roman soldiers, Jesus’ words to his disciples that ‘do ‘this in memory of me’ referred to resurrection and not just imbibing wine and crunching unleavened bread.

And like the loyal followers they were, the congregation scouted for shovels, allowed him to lay flat in his ditch and with hymn and dance, shovel upon another covered him in soil.

As he lay underneath the pile of soil, the choir increased the music and dance in anticipation of a manifestation of the power of Sakala’s god.

However, praise song after another, tongues upon tongues, Sakala did arise.

Fearful that perhaps his god had ignored the script, the church dug up Sakala and what they found, none of them has yet found a mouth with which to tell it all.

Sakala’s white rob was discovered soiled with mucus, blood and processed Nshima and he seemed to have had a not so good time in his tomb.

Realising what has transpired, even his three most faithful followers realised that the law of Zambia would come calling and bolted into the maize and groundnut fields of Chadiza.

According to Commissioner of Police for Eastern Province Geza Phiri, police are looking for the people who participated in the failed resurrection so that they can explain to inmates on death row at Mukobeko that resurrection theliz no.

Kalemba March 23, 2021


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