Upgrade to Castle Lite spoils friendship

A FRIENDSHIP of two women in Lusaka’s Matero Township was put to the test following a drinking partner’s upgrade to Castle Lite from Big Black Label much to the annoyance of the faithful Labeller.

In this matter, the Matero Local Court of Magistrate Harriet Mulenga heard the intriguing tale of the Beer Scandal that threatened to rip a friendship of Jessica Michelo, 30 and Lombe Mashaba, 29 which had survived crates upon crates of beer more bitter than traditional abortion herbs.

Sources close to the case attested that on one warm April evening, Jessica clinched herself a male buyer who for his expenses was also awarded the pleasurable task of being a boyfriend and lover.

With the financial backing of her new found love, Jessica upgraded her drinking status from the labour of lifting Big Black Labels to her mouth to a pricier Castle Lite which has a cold indicator and the couple enjoyed their foreplay of boozing.

After a few drinks but many, Jessica asked her new lover to accompany her to her usual drinking spot so that he could greet her ‘sisters’ in the drinking fraternity.

However, upon reaching the joint, Jessica’s drinking mates where less than pleased to see her cheating on their old faithful Black Label with a Castle Lite.

It was at that point that Lombe invited Jessica to grab a disposable cup and join in emptying the glass cylinders of Black Label on the table.

However, to maintain her new status, Jessica declined to lower her stands saying she had graduated from lifting heavy big bottles like a bricklayer and was just fine with the Castle Lite.

Lombe, however, did not manage to swallow Jessica’s skittish rejection of her beer offer and went on the offensive questioning her friend if she was HIV positive and taking ARVs hence her preference for a light beer; a question which annoyed Jessica leading to a scuffle between the ladies and the buyer-cum-lover using the confusion to escape from a possible empty wallet and contraction of an STI.

With hair not yet combed from the scuffle, Jessica rushed to the Matero Local Court where she sued Lombe for compensation for defamation of character.

However, in making ruling over the matter, Magistrate Mulenga opted to reconcile the Jessica and Lombe advising that their friendship should outlive the choice of one’s beer.

“I don’t see any reason why you two should fight over a bottle of black label. You will drink the beer and it will never finish, so why fight.

Let beer not separate you. I will not break your friendship but I will instead reconcile you because I have seen that you are good friends,” Magistrate Harriet Mulenga said.

Kalemba May 4, 2021