Hubby burner walks free from High Court


THE audience in Judge Winnie Mwenda’s High Court session where left shaking their heads in utter disbelief with sporadic murmurs when the Director of Public Prosecutions discharged via a nolle prosequi a woman of Matero who on January 1 this year poured hot boiling water on the private parts of her husband.

Prior to the discharge, allegations before the court where that Susan Mundhlogwa disappeared from her matrimonial home on December 31, 2020 without informing her husband Derrick Bwalya, 46.

When Bwalya returned home from work at about 19:00 hours, he searched for his wife everywhere from under their bed to the pit latrine outside but to no avail.

However, neighbours noticed him pacing about the yard like a troubled football coach on the touchline in his search for his better half.

To save his already tired legs from swelling in search of his Mundhlogwa, they informed him that his wife was last seen leaving their house wearing nothing more than a short black skirt which left her chubby thighs struggling to remain covered and a floral bareback top which from behind exposed her mammalian glands designed for feeding babies.

Bwalya was further deflated and sunk in his coffee brown sofa when the neighbour added that his wife of Zimbabwean origin this time did not jump on a bus but was welcomed in a black Toyota Mark X by a driver they did not clearly see but only his protruding tummy.

Depressed, the angels of sleep took over Bwalya and with his chin pointed up, he snored out whatever little energy was remaining in him.

However, at about 01:00 hours in the new year, hunger roused him from slumber and he lit a brazier and placed a pot of water so that he could cook nshima lest he dies from a combination of disappointment and hunger.

No sooner had he placed the pot than his wife staggered to the kitchen door clasping three bottles of Hunters Gold cider and her hair disorganised like a crowd at Soweto Market.

As he opened the door, the sight of his wife infuriated Bwalya who unleashed a slap on Mundhlogwa asking who was behind her wayward hair arrangement.

However, Mundhlogwa protested being slapped, put her beers to the side and went for the pot of hot water which she poured on Bwalya’s private parts instantly circumcising off the outer skin of his tools of procreation.

As Bwalya screamed and rolled in pain, Mundhlogwa made a phone call and disappeared back into the News Year’s night.

Alert neighbours, however, came to the aid of Bwalya and took him to Matero Level One Hospital.

After three days into the New Year with her party over, Susan went to the hospital to visit Bwalya but was nabbed by alert police who kept her in cells until yesterday when the court discharged her.

©Kalemba April 15, 2021


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