Landslides in Full Way

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By Godfrey Chitalu

 

In Full Way, on an armchair beside a diorama of Zebras, the great leader stared at a real Zebra as a white and black report on Landslides was handed over to him.

 

With a wide smile, the teetotaler in him came to the fore as he drank plain water, unlike his Jameson predecessor, and started poring through the dossier. He started with the UPNND versus PPPF and SSP alliance and gave out a wry smile for the first electoral landslide of the week.

 

Over a second glass of water, he muttered to no one but himself as guards looked on nonchalantly – our United Perfectionist No Nonsense Party – UPNND landslide over the combined efforts of the Poor Performing Pretentious Fellowship – PPPF and the info happy Slow Seeing Party is good news indeed.

 

In a flash, his happy face segued to somberness when the full revelation of the other landslide at the Ministry of Lands hit home. Who allowed the monumental landslide of title deeds? Where was my Perfect Secretary – PS? Why should we continue blaming the vanquished PPPF when we have been on the umupando for more than two solid years?

 

He read how the seeming headless Ministry had opted to fence the remaining 218 Hectares of Forest 27! Why have we played blind to the actual perpetrators who built mansions in the forest? Did we not learn anything from Tasilasinda of old?

 

In this era of transparency, why did the Ministry report that thieves stole unnamed documents – how do we trust people who did not even know what was stolen? What if someone had done a huge landslide and actually moved Kasama town to New Kasama?

 

After finishing reading the pano paipa two ppt slides, he focused his attention on the Agriculture and Health landslides. His annoyance on procurements became palpable; eeh look for my white gloves!

 

It was then that I realized that the Ministers of Lands, Health, and Agriculture respectively were in maningi trouble. When I woke up from slumber, I realized that daydreaming would never build our kingdom! How could I have slept in broad daylight?

 

The author is a social commentator who writes for pleasure

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