THE cantankerous drunkard man’s evil plans of depriving his neighbor’s properties backfires as he steals from his own house.
Bakaamba aze ring leader myself, pa Sunday I summoned a group fellow komboni lazo’s for a private meeting and gave them special instructions. Njebele, “Baiche my neighbor of house number e 16 Nakasha road has very expensive katundu in ze house. Now what I want you to do is to go to his house under this broad daylight and do a clean-up. I want all his household goods swept, please don’t leave anything hanging! Tinvelana?” One lazo boy asked, “Big man what is clean-up system?”
Njebele, “Listen – my neighbor and his wife have gone ku musonkano ku church and only their little children are home. Book a three-ton canter and go and load all the house katundus and drive away!” Another lazo asked, “But big man you said the couple have left children at home and so how do we load katundu in the presence of the children?”
Njebele, “This is not a problem – just tell the children that it is yowa parents that have sent us. They are bringing new katundu! And when you are done we shall meet ku diaspora and when we sell the katundu, mwalakwatamo 50% touch!” Bakaamba I went and sat ku diaspora waiting to link up with my lazo boys when they finish bine.
Bakaamba three hours later my wife Bana Joe calls me and started crying on phone ati, “Bashi Joe where are you? I have just come home from church and thieves have driven away with all our household goods including your bombasas” At that juncture I knew ati ifi baiche have made a serious navigation error. While still on phone, my lazo boys landed pa diaspora with a three-ton canter truck fully loaded with my household goods.
The lazos even shouted to me ati, “Ba mudala twabomba!!!” I just cut the call and blasted the lazos njebele, “You sichopet baboons I told you house number 16 but imwe you add a 1 and go to load katundu on house number 17 which is my house…. this katundu is all mine!!!” Ma lazo, “Ba mudala so what do we do?”
I just jumped into the canter njebele, “Kamani we are returning the katundus to my house!”
Bakaamba upon landing home, Bana Joe wondered and asked, “Bashi Joe what is going on? Why did you take the properties out of the house as if we are shifting?”
Njebele, “Woman you don’t clean the house so I thought of taking all the household katundu ku laundry and dry cleaning but ZESCO thelizno so they can’t clean them!
To be continued on Tuesday
Christian author, Joseph Chibwe describes his drama series as fictional; depicting a cantankerous drunkard from Malole Tavern who narrates his own dramatic escapades using a language he barely comprehends.
