Story: Shi Joe the drunkard in between Heaven and Hell
So now Angel Gabriel reversed his earlier intention of casting me into the Lake of Fire straight away but paused and said, “okay, there is a caveat olo injunction; although you are a full time sinner I will accord you justice. Come with me inside the house so that you face a panel of seven Heaven High Court Judges headed by His Justice King Solomon!
And Angel Gabriel opened the paradise gate and then led the way into the paradise house as I trailed behind. Walking majestically with “full of confidence” ya cockroach saying in my heart “Paradise here I come.”
Bakamba upon seeing how big and beautiful the paradise mansion was looking, I screamed out njebele, “Maaaaahhhh iyi e mansion proper zoona!”
Upon making first step into the paradise house, the first big room we landed in was a court room and it was fully packed to capacity with Angels, Apostles, Saints, Disciples and so on, all dressed up in pure white mikanjos!
I turned to Angel Gabriel and complained njebele “Umm iwe mukamba Gabby yashani iyi… kwaliba first entry into Paradise naisanga mu Court? No no no let us move around first so that I can choose my own room and keep my room keys into my searcher pocket!” Angel Gabriel ati “Why the rush to get a room?”
Njebele “Ehh mukamba I want to have a room, like pa UNZA so that those that won’t find a room can be squatting into my Room at an affordable renting fees!”
Gabriel ati “The room will only be given unto you once your name is found in the book of life by the Judges! Besides there is no shortage of rooms for the righteous here!” Bakamba I looked around mu court room and all the seats where occupied accept seven big seats that were in front!
I turned to Angel Gabriel Njebele, “Hello ba Gabby am very tired can I bondix myself on one of those vacant seats upfront?”
Angel Gabriel replied ati, “No those seats are reserved for His Justice King Solomon and other Judges!”
Angel Gabriel then pointed to the dock which was on the western side ati, “Please go and stand into that dock and wait for the Judges to come in so that your Judgement case can begin!”
Bakamba while stepping forward toward the dock, I stretched my right hand and made a clenched fist then tried the outstretched greeting style on a man whose mukanjo garment had an inscription written on it as Habakkuk. In return Habakkuk just clamped both palms together and made a symbol, bended his head in salutation and then greeted me ati “Welcome to Heaven brother man but sorry Jah men greeting is forbidden here!”
I proceeded forward and the moment I stood into the dock, the entire heaven mob in the paradise court casted their eyes on me! Knowing that all eyes were on me, I screamed njebele, “Hello mwandozola saana ba guy kulanda ngatamuletumona laka tubwekelemo pa chalo!”
Bakamba again realizing that I was the only one mu paradise court with a different clothing attire, I shouted to the crowd njebele, “Hello Ba Gai any one in here with an extra mukanjo anjashimeko!!?”
Angel Gabriel responded ati, “You will be given a mukanjo only if the court finds you not guilty of sins and you will only be given the bread of life if and when you are acquitted of your sins.”
Njebele “Iwe Gabby kanshi penikofye nangu Vatra my gullet is very dry!”
Gabriel shouted ati “Elijah please bring a glass of water for the defendant!”
Bakamba within seconds Elijah delivered a glass of water to me and after testing the paradise water, I scream out njebele “Yeaaaahhhh!!!!! This is super laka water!!!”
Bakamba suddenly the front small door opened, the all crowd mu court room stood up and the seven Judges with King Solomon in forefront entered the paradise court and each one of them stood in front of his empty seat!
Umm Bakamba at that moment fear and fever engulfed me and I started sweating like a sun beaten casual worker digging a drainage under Cheng Huang Contractors!
Gabriel announced ati, “before we sit, shall we sing the heaven national anthem in recognition of the Almighty God.”
To be continued on Friday.
Christian author, Joseph Chibwe describes his drama series as fictional; depicting a cantankerous drunkard from Malole Tavern who narrates his own dramatic escapades using a language he barely comprehends.